I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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