I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
