Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
