shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
