He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
