Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
