There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
