hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
