And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
