He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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