I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
