I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
