Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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