She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The air taste purple.
Randomize
