I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
