in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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