I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
