some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My life is pants optional.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
