READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
