There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize