are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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