now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
