i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
