spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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