The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
