Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
