Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
