i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
