He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
