do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
