I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
