There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
