I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
