I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
