I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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