you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
