We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
