So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
