next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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