I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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