ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
