get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
