well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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