Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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