i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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