i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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