You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
