Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
