i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
