I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
