Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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