I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
