need another drink. this is the easiest way
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
