It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
