Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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