I feel like I'm in dance class right now
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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