it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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