she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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