please come you make the beer taste better
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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