when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
