I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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