Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
