Just fell off a train. Bad.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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