Don't you send me to vm
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
