I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
only if we run a train.
done.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
